What else needs to be said? To just hear the sacred name of Justin Stanley, sends chills down my spine. To even think that I go to school with him is almost inconceivable. I know what you are probably thinking,
“Who the FUCK is Justin Stanley?”

Point is……… JUSTIN STANLEY DEFIANTLY KNEW WHAT YOU WERE PROBABLY THINKING!!!!!!

How could one simple mortal read the mind of another simple mortal who, by some stroke of fate, had the shitty luck of happening to read this paper. That’s the trick. Justin Stanley is no simple mortal.

“So what the FUCK is Justin Stanley?”
Good Question devout reader. I really wish that I knew the answer myself. Not that I would actually tell you even if I did know. I will, however, share some of my theories on the man that makes the world go ‘round.

Justin could be an extension of the Great Old Ones operating in this plane of existence. He is most likely connected to the Great Cthulhu. This would explain his surplus of supernatural powers.

Justin, for example, can go up to three days without sleep! Don’t be fooled by the fact that anyone can go three days without sleep. (If you know what’s good for you, you’ll smile and nod like a good little monkey!!)

Justin can also assume his split personality Justinian in times of great need. Don’t ask me about those times of need, just trust me on this one. When he becomes Justinian, he cannot die. He becomes a machine of war, the perfect killer. And aaaa….ehh…. did I say he couldn’t die? I’m sorry, what I actually meant was that he almost always dies, and yet comes back to life like the mighty phoenix of legend! Justinian is a huge world power to contend with. Actually, Justinian is so huge he has small Asian countries hidden in various crevices over his body. All the world powers fear Justinian. They just don’t make a big deal about it on the news or anything. Yea, that’s probably why you haven’t heard about him. Justinian, because he has control over everything that is printed, also leaves himself out of history books as well. He’s a really modest guy.

If you are still reading this piece of shit paper at this point in time, you’re a bigger loser than I am.

Justinian is not a loser, however. He dines at only the finest restaurants like Waffe House ( or the German chain Vaffel Haus). Actually, I never really understood that one myself.

But Justinian is beyond my simple understanding.

Actually, I’m sick of talking about Justinian, I would rather ramble on about my own problems. Like the fact that I can’t talk to girls I really like. I can talk to most girls, just not girls I really like. Would someone fuckin’ explain that one to me?

Justinian is a supreme being. There should be temples built and wars fought over a so awesome of a being. I mean, if I can stare at her for two years, why can’t I ask her out? You would think that I would rather be shot in the spine with a fuckin’ nail gun than to ask a girl I really like out.

I only wish that I had the chance to know Justin a bit longer. As it is, he is graduating from Ringling in just a few days. To think that I have only known him for a year. I will be sad when our ways finally part. I’m even sadder over the fact that I’ll have to go back to Kentucky and stare at the same girl I really like for the third fuckin’ year in a row. Maybe I’ll ask her out this year. Yeah, and maybe I’ll shoot myself in the spine with a fuckin’ nail gun.

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